Oh my fucking GOD THIS IS PERFECT
IT’S PERFECT BECAUSE WHO WOULD WANT TO STEAL A BOOK FROM SOMEONE IN THE STREET
I had to dig for the source for some reason…but here it is:
when everyone follows each other so you see the same post like 10 times in a row
home, home .. where I wanted to go
*police lays arm on your head* youre under a wrist
unfollowers backwards is ‘srewollofnu’ which sounds like screw all of u

The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS
HES BREAD JIM
JESUS CRUST
If wizards just had cellphones Sirius would never have to fucking die!
Harry could have just shot him a text like
“Yo Sirius, where u at?”
“Just at home eatin some pasta”
“K good cuz I had a rly weird dream that u were wit voldemort.”
“Nah bro just chillin with kreacher”
“Cool”
CRISIS FUCKING AVERTED
this is my principal’s signature
Fish
angelina jolie’s daughter
and gwen stefani’s son
both so cute
Parenting done right
ugh. this is so wrong. how can you support someone letting their kid wear socks on grass. do you know how hard it is to wash those stains out?
oh my god this last comment
i’m pretty sure thats astroturf we’re all good
please don’t cry
I would not like that
I don’t think you would either
who is Gatsby’s least favorite superhero?
Deadpool
Who’s his favourite?
Green Lantern
Oh my god