Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it”
Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.
To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.
On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.
I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…
Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.
The lengths we go for music.
Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.
One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”
And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:
[reeeeeeally deep breath]
[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]
The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.
In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”
FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.
This is the best band post
Everyone else go home
THIS IS WHY YOU NEVER GIVE BASS LINE PRODUCING PLAYERS SHIT WITH FOUR F’S. WE WILL PLOT AGAINST YOU AND MAKE YOU REALIZE YOUR MISTAKE THE HARD WAY AND IT WILL BE THE MOST AMUSING SHIT TO US. I’M L;ITERALLTY CRYING LAUIGHING
*how to spawn demons: a beginner’s guide to chemistry
don’tplay well with others.
Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:
Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.
Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken. The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.
At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates. While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.
A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.
The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.
The number of people that aren’t reading the whole thing and are hailing it as fact make me laugh harder than the actual story.
HE HAS A GODDAMN MOTHER FUCKING SMILE ON HIS LITTLE FACE EVERYONE OMFG
so on the Oscars website they have a graphic of which celebrities got the most social media attention last night
and guess who got the most
at least you won something, Leo
HOW CAN WE BE HAPPY ?
Once a group of 50 people was attending a seminar.
Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each one a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.
Now these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos.
At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon.
Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it.
Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.
The speaker began— exactly this is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is.
Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness; you will get your own happiness.
And this is the purpose of human life.
"So if I didn’t understand I was being asked to be Best Man, it is because I never expected to be anybody’s best friend."
my auntie brought us these weird circular pediatric things from Hong Kong
sTOP reLBOGGING THIS IT WAS A STUPID DECISION ON A STUPID DAY IT WAS A WEEK AGO OK I’VE CHANGED
Leonardo DiCaprio’s Filmography So Far
Got in an argument w my uncle today because he said Leonardo DiCaprio is a bad actor. How can one be so wrong.
putting milk in the bowl first is divorce worthy
wow excuse you maybe I like to soften the bristles first B(
who the fuck doesn’t wet their tooth brush before putting toothpaste on what the fuck
who the fuck does
i the fuck do
what the fuck man
This is how civil wars are started
i think freckles, stretch marks, tattoos, bruises, birthmarks and scars are probably the coolest thing, you started with almost a blank canvas and look at u now, all this evidence that you’ve lived and the sun has shone on you and you’ve grown and maybe tripped up a few times and liked an image so much u made it a permanent part of u, beautiful.
That’s one of the most uplifting things I’ve readThis needs to get passed around more